Men and Women Living Together

I’ve heard this one come up a couple of different ways:

1. My boyfriend/girlfriend and I are going to get married. It’s cheaper for us to live together until then. We’re not sleeping together, though!

2. Sometimes folks have roommates of the opposite sex in college. They are not in any sort of relationship with them, though, so they say it is okay.

The first one is easy. God says that is a lifestyle to avoid for a number of reasons. For example, a couple in that situation is putting themselves in position for trouble. The Bible says to flee from sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 6:18). Plus, if a couple is living together without being married, even if they aren’t sleeping together, they still risk causing offense to others (Matthew 18:6-7) and emboldening them to sin.

The second scenario probably contains some gray area. In the end, I think I’d apply the Jurassic Park warning to it. “Don’t get so preoccupied with whether or not you could that you don’t stop to think if you should…”

Maybe you can put all these different control constraints in position so that you aren’t sinning. Everyone has separate bathrooms and bedrooms. They eat breakfasts in shifts. No one can wander around in anything less than a bathrobe, etc.

At the end of the day, why even go there? It seems like inviting potential problems, and Matthew 18:6-7 is still in effect. A lot of people who see such a situation will assume someone is sleeping together somewhere in the equation. Plus, it might require constant explanation. “Hi, this is my roommate, but we’re not sleeping together, and they’re not sleeping with any of my roommates either…”

“Okay…”

I’ve learned that if I have to constantly explain why something is right, then I maybe need to reconsider it. If it requires that much explanation, it enters the “methinks the lady doth protest too much” territory. Keep it simple. Plenty of problems will find their way to your doorstep. You don’t have to go out and look for ways to find more trouble, especially when it comes to things that have sex somewhere in the mix. That’s a battle that will always beat you up. Look back on your life and think how many problems come about as the result of making a poor decision or overlooking potential pitfalls. I come up with a lot of examples in my life.